Book review: "Men from Mars, women from Venus" by John Gray

The full name of this book, according to Amazon (I read the Hebrew translation) is: "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus: A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships" (quite a name, heh...)

My mom bought this book for Anna, on her birthday. She said that she heard a lot about it, and it's quite a bestseller. Anna read it immediately, and told me that I should read it too, as it's pretty good. With so much feminine pressure on me, I also started reading this book.

What can I say... the ideas of Mr. Gray are indeed good, but the book isn't, as it's far, FAR too long. I'll concentrate on the good sides first:

The book categorizes the differences between men and women pretty well. The main point - that we are different is reiterated over and over again, untils it sinks really well, which is good. After all, if we realize the differences between us, communicating will be much easier. Gray also describes a few "features" (or bugs, depends on your point of view) of women and men, that sometime startle the other side. For example, the tendency of men to "get away" for a little while if they feel too closed in some space. Or, the tendency of women's mood change with sinusoidally, raising and falling from time to time.

The author concentrates a lot on people's reactions to their partner's behavior. Which reactions are suitable, and which just make us mad. For example, when a man feels he must "get away", the woman shouldn't follow him and nag him and be upset about it. It always makes the situation worse. The woman should react with understanding and just wait until it's over. It will take the minimum time this way. Generally, the things stated in the book are true and insightful.

But, oh man this book is too long... It could easily be a third of its lenght (my Hebrew version was ~ 280 pages long, IMHO 80 would suffice). It's one of this times when the author has one or two good points, and he stretches them over an entire book, over and over again. Eventually I found myself skipping a lot of sections that seemed like stuff I've already seen N times.

To summarize, the ideas in the book are good, but it's too long and tiresome. I think I got the message, and I'm grateful for that, as it will give me important insights into relationships. I've read the first 1/4 th of the book diligently, and then started "skimming". I was reading only the stuff that seemed new.